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The US has the fattest population of all time!! Around two thirds of the population is overweight or obese. At ObesityEpidemic.Org, we are here to educate, legislate, and reverse the fattening up trend. Please feel free to exchange ideas or suggestions by emailing : admin@obesityepidemic.org

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Recipe For Obesity

Let's think about how we could make the world obese.

Fast Food

The first thing I would do is to put a fast food restaurant on every corner. I would pass legislation allowing discounts for high caloric foods and deep fried food. I would make fast food less expensive than whole foods. I would even charge more for water than sugary drinks.

I would put playground equipment near and/or in all the restaurants so that children would want to go there often to eat and play.

Addictive Foods

I would encourage companies to put addictive chemicals in the foods. For example, I would put caffeine and MSG in just about anything I could think of. Then, I would hire scientists to figure out how to manipulate foods to make them harder to resist. In due course, I would hope to have hundreds of addictive additives for food companies to choose from.

Advertising

If I had political power, I would make it so that fast food, junk food, and soda companies would have free advertising spots on prime time television. I would hire advertising executives to come up with catchy slogans and ideas to keep these foods in the forefront of peoples minds.

The most important part of the advertising is that I would market specifically to children. Children's minds are very impressionable and this would allow food producers to gain lifetime customers. Children's minds would be made up about products before they became adults that could think intelligently about the advertising.

Junk Food

I would put junk food next to almost every cashier or counter in America. I would put it right next to where people walk in and out of any store.

I would also subsidize the industry making junk food less costly than healthy foods.

Sizing

To encourage higher caloric consumption, I would offer larger sizes for a tiny difference in price. For example, through subsidies, I would allow someone to get a much larger meal for less than one additional dollar. I would then train all the employees to ask customers if they would like to get the larger meal.

Another trick I would employ, is that I would make the meal larger in only the sugary drinks, french fries, and other low cost high calorie foods. In this way, people will get a disproportionate amount of calories from the worst foods.

Over time, I would find creative ways to increase the sizing of just about any food.

In a different shade, I would make homes so small that virtually no exercise will happen there. In addition, I will make exercise equipment so expensive that only the rich and famous will own it.

Sugar

To add calories cheaply, I would encourage sugar being added to everything that it was possible to put it in. I would even encourage the sugar industry to make the sugar cheaper through hydrogenation and synthetic chemicals. One example of this is high fructose corn syrup. I would encourage this on all levels.

The other added benefit of added sugar is that it will make people have stronger appetites. The artificially high amounts of sugar will cause people to have a sugar crash from too much released insulin. This will then induce hunger pains to bring up the low blood sugar levels. People will then consume more calories.

Schools

I would put vending machines in schools that sell soda and lots of junk foods. I would put a cash machine near each vending machine.

I would find the highest calorie foods like chips and pizza and fries and put those in as part of the daily foods offered at school lunch. I would not make the school lunch from scratch. It would all come packaged up from various corporations that know how to put in the additives and chemicals properly.

I would have each teacher required to have a junk food stash in their desk available for sale. Those of low income would be allowed to purchase the junk food at a reduced rate.

I would put a junk food item on each persons desk every morning. The individual would have the freedom to decline purchasing the item, but they must pick it up and return it to the teachers desk.

Finally, if that's not enough, I would have the teachers incorporate a curriculum that teaches the health benefits of obesity, refined sugar, and deep fried foods.

Infrastructure

I would sell of all the parks to land developers. I would take out the sidewalks. I would put all the houses close together. I would eliminate soccer fields, basketball courts, and any other item that encourages exercise.

Every person would have one or two or three cars so that they would never need to walk anywhere.

Psychology

I would accommodate fatness as painless as possible. I would have advertisers create campaigns that make obesity attractive. I would offer free counseling to those that were obese to help them accept who they are and their weight. I would encourage society to not only accept obesity, but to prefer it.

Being Busy

I would find ways to make it so people had to work constantly. I would create an economic climate that required most everyone to only have a few minutes a day to themselves.

With increased business, people won't want to spend their few minutes preparing healthy foods and will be more likely to eat the fast food on the corner, the junk food up the street, or the packaged food created just for them. People that are excessively tired will turn to food stimulants like caffeine laden sodas and sugar to make it through the day.

Insurance

I would not allow insurance companies to offer preventative care. Obesity and overweight counseling would not be covered.

Lobbying

I would hire scientists and schmoozers to keep an eye on congress and make sure that only laws that support obesity are passed. This will keep an iron grip on the people. People will still have freedom to resist, but we will keep laws iron clad that allow for tempting people to eat more.

I would make the lobbyists understand that there is a big difference between addictive foods that cause health issues and drugs in general. The lobbyists would then make sure congress kept up on this issue.

Blame

I would certainly blame obesity for reasons that can't be changed. I would blame it on big bones, genetics, and poor self control. In fact, I would most often make it a point to point out how lazy obese people are and that they just had a poor upbringing. Proper blaming will keep corporations from feeling any regret, sorrow, or responsibility for their products. More importantly it will keep the public from demanding or looking for any types of changes. They will simple think that they have poor will power and blame it on themselves. The sadness and despair will have the positive effect of more people popping antidepressants and that will be good for the economy.

Weight Loss Centers

The last and final smokescreen would be to have weight loss centers. You could go in and pay a fee. People would then get together once a week to learn how to lose weight. There is one really good reason for this. People that don't want obesity will think that someone out there is able to help them. After they fail, the blame will then shift to themselves and not on systemic problems. It also keeps those who are the most angry with obesity to simply have an outlet to cry out their pain and this makes them less threatening to the obesity society.

Summary

I am sure that's enough, but I am also sure you can come up with a lot more ways to make people fat. It's pretty easy in our society.







 


 

 

 


 

 

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